sapientbreeze

As we grow in life, we find that there is a connection between things we are drawn to and the things that we are averse to. A simple example would be how little boys and girls often seem to “hate” one another… but any adult would smile, knowing that their budding interest in one another is driving the negative feelings. Perhaps it wouldn’t be surprising to learn that this is true for each and every aversion, everything we hate or despise. It’s not love, but rather opportunity. Some part of you knows that a missing piece lies within.

Consider this: think on how abundant life is, how every second of every day we are surrounded by stuff, by stimulus, by things. However, most of our attention is drawn towards only a handful of things that just so happen to draw an emotional response in us. We assume that this means something about the object of our emotional response, but truly it says something about ourselves.

Emotions are but messages: sensory inputs that we seldom comprehend. Understanding the cause of one’s own emotions can be the work of a lifetime, and even then it’s never simple to decipher their meaning. Here is the lesson: when you feel something, that’s your signal that something needs to be looked at. Your conscious mind is missing something, and the emotions are your clue. That’s why it bothers you: truth is just outside your conscious awareness, and your emotions are attempting to draw your attention in the only way they can.

As you walk the Path, growth and change will come slow, but come it will. One of the fundamental aspects of the Path is to cultivate peace within oneself. This is relevant for all people of all ages: things will come and dismantle your state of inner peace. This is why we must first practice when things are calm, quiet, and serene. Meditation is not about thinking, but rather more like the opposite: it is about letting go of thought. This takes a LOT of practice, and the modern world is one that leaves little space for peace… so don’t expect this to come easy.

When you are capable to finding peace in stressful situations, you are ready to uncover the secrets behind the things that trigger you. This takes training and practice, but your goal is to identify the negative feeling rising up in yourself. You’ll enter the track you always fall into when a similar feeling occurs, but you must consciously stop yourself, and recognize in yourself what’s happening. Try to think: “There’s something here!” – some truth that something inside you knows is important for your development. This is where the things that bother you counterintuitively become opportunities for growth.

The basic framework is this: work to rewire your reactions to things that bother you. Notice the feeling, and acknowledge it: “… bothers me. I wonder why?” It may take time for you to uncover these mysteries within yourself, but just the change in approach will dramatically change your resilience in everyday life. You will start to notice that many people in your life are actually angling for a reaction with what they do or say to you. You will find that you’re able to take back power in situations where you’re dealing with narcissistic people. Perhaps a chaotic situation unfolds in your daily life, and you are surprised to find you are among the few to remain calm.

This is the soul of inner work: practice coming back to a calm center within yourself, and make it a habit to bring yourself back whenever something affects you emotionally. The important thing to remember is this practice is never complete… you never solve everything, for triggers will always remain. The question is only: will you find the hidden truths within those triggers, or will you allow them to dictate your life?