sapientbreeze

An often used expression… particularly by older generations who think they have it all figured out. Perhaps some have, but in my experience, most have long ceased to think that there is anything left for them to learn. When you think you have it all figured out, that’s your ego protecting you from worry. The reality is that life is always changing, and that discomfort and tragedy is a certainty, even though it may be absent in the present. The first lesson here is this: personal development is not a destination, it is a journey without end.

Depending on where you are in life, your immediate needs will vary. Try to take an honest assessment of yourself, alone in a moment of inner stillness. Do you feel that your inner thoughts are good? If you are not sure, then you are not ready for solitude. Seek companions who embody the type of person you wish to be. Allow toxic relationships to pass… friends who require you to debase yourself are no real friends.

As your character improves, you will find social outings can challenge your growth in character. Should you find yourself falling into old patterns, seek solitude and reflect. Remember that backsliding is normal and inevitable, so try to meet those moments with compassion, and try to remember why you avoided those activities in the first place. Remember that this is a journey.

The last lesson is applicable at any stage of development, but requires true stillness and mindful presence. Watch for your fears, for what triggers you or otherwise upsets your inner calm. These are signals: opportunities for improvement. Ponder them deeply when you can return to stillness, and you may find things in yourself that need attention and compassion. Heal yourself, and you will not be triggered like that again. In time, learn to find gratitude for these interactions, for they are sometimes the best opportunity for growth.

Bonus insight: if you are finding that lots of little things are going wrong and annoying you, or causing you distress, try to remember this practice; reframe these annoyances as reminders that things will not always go according to plan. Why should things always go according to your plan? Wouldn’t that ultimately make for a boring and mundane experience? How could you grow in such a life? These are all tiny opportunities to reframe: “I spilled my coffee on my dress shirt, now I have to change and be late to work. This is an excellent reminder for me to have gratitude on ordinary mornings where I get to work ontime!”

Remember that growth only comes from hardship, and often that hardship find us before we go looking for it. Cultivate a positive attitude whenever possible, and you will be armored against the chaos of everyday life.